I
intended on making my favorite quotes an annual thing. However, when I started
collecting these, I realized it would be way too much for a yearly event. So
here's to a new monthly blog...the best texts, autocorrects, lunch convos, and
comments from the month.
Random Texts
It won't take you long to pack for
Harlan. Flannel, gun, meth...DONE
Facetime, pooping, and
Mexican...sounds awesome.
My cat just tooted in my face.
You probably deserved it.
Why are chicken minis so much
better than chicken biscuits?
Mini everything is better...well,
except penises.
I'm wearing Lady Gaga shoes. I
can't decide whether I feel stupid or awesome.
Seriously I've been trying to drop
a load all day.
Best two porn names ever: Carolina
Jones & the Temple of Poon and Tiger Got Wood.
She can run around with baby sh*t
on her face if she wants to but the rest of the world is gonna be laughing at
her.
I'm going to go clean
something.
How about ur ass?
They r always just too big.
That's what she said.
Christy is one horny b*tch.
My sex drive wouldn't be healthy
combined with alcohol.
It was awkward and boring and I had
gas all day.
Autocorrect Gone Wrong
Literally texted u sex I got off
the phone.
SEX?!
Sorry, meant sec.
Ok, but if you start sexting me we
have a problem.
So funny. Good thing I pooped
already bc I'd share my pants.
U'd share that? Thanks!
Share = shart. Wait, do u not want
to share my pants with me!?!?
Nope- pretty sure there's no way in
hell I could get in them.
Actually, me neither.
We are getting $7700 back on taxes.
Whoa that's awesome. Hope you're
taking us all to the Bahahahas.
Yeah...um idk what that is.
Sorry.... I meant the bwahahahma's.
Oh that totally clears it up.
Bahamas. Geez. I need coffee. I
hate waking up constipated
And the
best-autocorrect-I've-ever-seen-award goes to Lauren and her mom:
Lunch
Convos
Leslie: I think they're curing
cancer in there.
Megan: The three people you're talking about don't have enough brain cells
combined to figure out how to pick up dog poop without getting it on their
hands, let alone cure cancer!
Heather: I want
Mexican.
Me: I
can't afford it. Maybe we can hoe Christy out in exchange for food?
Christy:
Ok, but only if I get to eat too.
Facebook Fun
I sadly retract my earlier status about being jealous. Totally bummed about the Miranda concert!!!
i needed a good laugh tonight :)
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